Labels

I've been a PACIFIST for as long as I can remember. I've just never thought it was okay to hit another person, let alone shoot one. I've never been a quiet pacifist. Everyone knew how I felt about violence. I walked the walk one night at a kegger about 20 years ago. There I was, the teenage me, sitting there enjoying some socializing, when a young punk girl named Julie asked to talk to me. I said "sure". She said, "alone". So I followed this girl and a handful of her friends (so much for alone) out to the front yard. I glanced at my friend Nikola on the way out and she followed excitedly. Next thing, this girl is accusing me of something I hadn't done and is trying to pick a fight. She was not just asking for the usual teenage battle of words, this girl actually wanted to hit me and expected me to hit her back. Long story short, the confused young woman was removed by her boyfriend and two other guys. They knew, even the skinheads among them, that there was not going to be a fight. They knew about me. Now, Nikola, was dying for this girl to lay a finger on me so that she could "take care of things". I, on the other hand, waited nervously for the watchers to bring her to her senses. I wonder still, what would have happened had she hit me.....

For a short time (college of course) I was a VEGETARIAN. My body didn't agree. I began to crave steak for breakfast. These days, I am learning to embrace my meat craving body. I am an OMNIVORE through and through as are my husband and our boy. In truth, husband might be more of a CARNIVORE than omnivore.

In our community, people gravitate toward HIPPIE or PROGRESSIVE. The crazies connected to those terms make some of us try to avoid wearing those labels. So, when I do really greenish things, Jonathan gets nervous about me becoming a HIPPIE. Funny, then, when in a moment of weakness, I declared that I was going to spray the crabgrass with Roundup, he was the one who put on the HIPPIE label. "But what about the bees?"
So, I've covered the crabgrass with sheets of cardboard and even an old cotton rag rug and topped that off with a few bales of rice straw. I'll add chicken manure as it comes and we'll see what remains when Spring arrives. My newest label, PESTICIDE FREE FARMER. Until the aphids arrive anyway.

This being election day, my label reads clearly DEMOCRAT.

I mentioned the pacifist label because I can feel myself slowly leaving it behind. That darn movie (note to self, watch more romantic comedies) left me feeling like I need firepower to protect myself from looters, zombies, vampires, etc. And also to fetch food. The time could come that I need to hunt for deer, turkey, jackrabbit. The time could come that I need to shoot a bobcat to save my chickens. What about the arrival of a time when my front door needs to be locked, that strangers may try to come into my home and will have to be forcibly removed? My brain has been tucking these little bitty fears away for years. I Am Legend brought them all screaming to the surface.

I've decided to learn how to shoot a gun. I'll begin with a handgun and move on to a rifle. I don't know if we'll stock the house. I'll begin with comfort and knowledge. So much for pacifist. What then, will be my label?